Common Terms:
Post-gay: A group of people decided to leave their homosexual life style . They may still have same sex attraction (or attention) , but they are determined to quit homosexual relationships and act against their attractions. This is a holistic growth and conversion of life.
Tongqi or Tongfu: The spouse of a closet gay or closet lesbian.
Houtongqi or Houtongfu: The spouse of a post-gay. Some post-gay may develop an interest in opposite sex during their conversion of life, and finally get into marriage. Most of the Post-tongqi/Post-tongfu have already known their spouse homosexual past and offered them strong support to their conversion.
FAQ
- Is being gay normal?
Answer: According to sexology and clinical psychiatry, homosexuality is an atypical psychosexual development, but not a mental disorder. As of today, homosexuality is still not registered in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Yet, we encourage whoever is disturbed continuously by his/her sexual orientation to seek help. We (New Creations) are experienced in giving support to people with same-sex attraction.
- Are there genetic links for homosexuality?
Answer: According to recent research on homosexuality, sexual orientation is shaped both by biological factors and living environment. Although there have been evidence from the research on twins and genes which proves that there are genetic factors that may lead one to be homosexual, how they actually work to shape one’s sexual orientation is still not determined. According to the latest report on twins, the living environment since an individual is born has a larger influence on his sexual tendency than the genetic link, and we have found out that there is no such thing as ‘gay gene’. Therefore, we believe the sexual orientation development does not fall solely on genes, but also lies in how an individual is nurtured. Some people are under the impression that they were born ‘gay’ as they were attracted exclusively to the same sex when they were in puberty. These attractions were spontaneous and they had no control over it. However, ‘being spontaneously attracted to same-sex’ does not necessarily prove they were “born” gay. They have overlooked various factors from the living environment. For instance, they might not be able to completely learn and develop their sexual identity from their parents just because their parents might have assigned a wrong gender role to them. Their parents might not be satisfied with their kids’ gender so they hoped their kids could behave differently. Accordingly, the kids acted like their opposite sex to pander to the wants of their parents. Besides, some people might even have been molested when they were young which could seriously affect their ways of perceiving different genders.
- Can sexual orientation be changed?
Answer: It depends on how you perceive ‘change’. Some people think that a change means they can entirely eradicate their attraction to the same sex. Yet, such change is rarely seen in reality. According to Jones and Yarhouse (2007), and the over 500 articles from Journal of Human Sexuality in NARTH investigating homosexuality issues, sexual orientation can be changed, but only to some extent. For instance, people may only be able to diminish their lust for the same sex, or attempt to develop relationships with the opposite sex. We believe sexual orientation is not limited to sexual drive, but it also includes relationships, and both aspects can definitely undergo change. From our past experience, many people who were struggling with same sex attraction could finally lessen their lust to the extent that they were no longer disturbed by the feeling to the same sex. Some of them could even engage in a relationship with the opposite sex. We believe that ‘change’ is not synonymous with ‘no further attraction to the same sex’. Instead, it means that people finally have the power to say no to their homosexual lust.
If you want to look for more answers … (https://www.newcreationhk.org/?page_id=74)
The THREE-PATHS THEORY for people with same-sex attraction
Sexual orientation refers to a person’s romantic or sexual attraction (or both) to people of the opposite sex and/or the same sex. People who experience same sex attraction (SSA) are not necessarily gay because being gay and having SSA are two separate issues. However, people often get them mixed up, not being able to differentiate between experiencing the feeling of SSA and acting upon the feeling of SSA. Many people with SSA think that if once they have experienced SSA early on during puberty, then it is inevitable that they should act upon such feelings to eventually pursue a homosexual life style. However, our service experiences in NC has shown that many people do not let their life be dominated by their sexual orientation, thus they make conscious efforts not to act upon their unwanted SSA feelings.
There have been numerous people asking if it is possible to convert a person’s sexual orientation and so that he/she can become ‘straight’. Our answer to this question lies in the NC mission. There are three paths open to a person with unwanted SSA.
The first path is that people experience same-sex-attraction and accept that as inevitable. They feel and act upon their SSA feelings, publicly identify themselves as gay, seek out a same sex partner and live a gay life style. Contrary to the first path, the second path refers to some SSA sufferers who experience a burning desire to become heterosexual; they make efforts to eliminate the feeling of SSA by exploring all resources. Eventually they succeed in either partially or completely eliminating their unwanted SSA, meeting opposite sex partners, getting married and having children. This has proven possible, although it is not a common experience. Lastly, the third path refers to the SSA strugglers who experience same-sex-attraction and have accepted to live with their unwanted feelings. They have consciously made the choice of not letting their lives be dominated by homosexual struggles. They turn their focus away from their sexual orientation in order to get on with normal life of making friends, building relationship with their family, going after their dreams without letting the SSA feelings dictate their actions. When this group of people focuses their lives on other things of interest, they also find the intensity of their SSA lower.
All in all, you cannot deny your sexual orientation, but you have the right to choose how to cope with that, whether to live with or act upon it.